An Idiot's Plan
by Deidara Crack Remix
Summary: Naruto's never had an interest in going to school. That is, until a raven haired God was sent to teach his English class. How is Sasuke going to take the constant advances from a horny teen like Naruto? SasuNaru. AU. Yaoi


**I just had a thought and I had to start writing. I couldn't help myself. **

**Warnings: Yaoi, which should be expected. **

**Summary: Naruto's never had an interest in going to school. That is, until a raven haired God was sent to teach his English class. How is Sasuke going to take the constant advances from a horny teen like Naruto? SasuNaru. AU. Yaoi**

Chapter 1: Plan A

School life is always pretty boring. At least Naruto thought so. All you do is wake up, go to this God forsaken place, listen to annoying teachers going on and on about all these useless subjects, and then it ends only for it to start over once again the next day.

It was pointless.

Naruto Uzumaki was not dumb, but that didn't mean that he cared if he failed or passed. Why should he work hard at something he didn't enjoy? And that is what his parents just didn't get. They didn't understand his logic, and were hell bent on giving him an hour of scolding for his recent grades.

Straight Fs. It was a wonder how he made it to the 12th grade, or even the 9th for that matter.

But no, Naruto Uzumaki was not dumb, not in the least. He just knew the difference between his priorities, and his studies just happened to be at the bottom the list, end of discussion.

So why was he standing here, looking at himself in the mirror at six in the morning with a bag thrown over his shoulder? Well, because at the top of his priorities was sex. Oh yes, Naruto enjoyed sex, and just yesterday he had the shock of his life when a certain new teacher showed up.

. The epitome of all that is fuckable; to say that man was simply gorgeous would be a heavy understatement. This man was everything wrapped in pale skin and his silky black hair was like the perfect bow on this magnificent gift sent from heaven.

Okay, it wasn't that serious, but hell if Naruto wasn't going to convince this man to sleep with him. Most preferably on that inviting desk that just screams 'sex'.

So today, Naruto woke himself up extra early to get ready for another day at the not-so-boring high school. He finished the masterpiece; he called his hair and inspected himself in the mirror. He grinned.

Yep, today would be great.

Sasuke Uchiha was definitely an idiot.

It's the last year of college for this 21 year-old. Unlike the rest of his family, Sasuke wasn't the type to go for the job with the big paying money, even though he clearly had the talent and the intellect to pursue any career he wanted. But Sasuke is not one for living up to people's expectations. He's always been the 'failure' in his father's eyes, and a 'fool' to Itachi (and the rest of the business world really). Did he care? Yes. But was he really going to change to fit the image of a true Uchiha? No. Sasuke was Sasuke and what Sasuke wanted to do was to teach.

Ah yes, teaching was surely the best way to go.

So, what did he major in the six years he spent in college? Teaching English. Why? Because he could, and nobody was going to tell him otherwise. So why exactly is this genius an idiot in disguise? Well, Sasuke hadn't really taken the entire situation into account.

I suppose the situation should be explained.

Sasuke was supposed to be an intern for the 12th grade English teacher, , and it was all going well until said teacher got into an accident, paralyzing him and sending him into a coma. Great.

So, Sasuke thought that this meant he wouldn't get the interning position, but little did he know the school board decided a different path for this young lad. Oh yes, he was given the chance to become a temporary substitute for this comatose stricken teacher and would even get paid for the job. So, why wasn't he happy? Why wasn't he bouncing off the walls with joy and pure gratefulness to all those in the heavens above?

Girls.

He hated them, especially high school ones. They were always after him. Always writing him love letters and sending him gifts of affection. They just didn't get it. This is the very reason he was so happy to leave high school. It took him away from those loud, annoying, squealing little creatures! And now they were worse. Having a college student whose only three or four years older than them would obviously lead to trouble. What were the board members thinking?

Oh right, he _was _one of the smartest students in the country (still second to Itachi), and with a perfect record at that. Why wouldn't they choose him?

Sasuke Uchiha was definitely an idiot. And this was proven today when he decided to get up and get prepared to enter hell for the second time that week.

"You look exceptionally bright today. Any specific reason?" Neji asked, coming up to his loud boisterous friend.

This was an odd occurrence. Naruto was dressed in a tight, long sleeve black shirt and a loose, but definitely fitting pair of jeans (compliments to Hollister) that hung suggestively to his hips; this being very contrast to the usual lazy orange pull over jacket and baggy sweat pants that the blonde seemed to throw on every morning.

"Not really," he answered, slyly avoiding the subject. Neji was quite aware of his friend's libido and tendency to sleep with half the school's population, but for Naruto, this was a silent project, one that would be kept exclusively between himself and the raven of his latest wet dreams.

"Hm I see," he said, letting his friend's sudden change of dress conduct slip from his mind as they made their way to first period. Sadly for Naruto, he'd have to wait til fourth period to see his God once again. He sighed in slight frustration. Why must time kill his willingness to survive this day without just leaving campus (something he was very fond of doing when school was getting to be a little too boring in his opinion)? But, alas, he must suffer through at least half the day so that plan 'seduce-my-sexy-God-teacher-into-banging-me-into-his-desk' will go into action.

He grinned; just the thought was enough for him to take a visit to the bathroom to release the tension his 'little friend' was going through. But, he didn't. He wanted to experience the real thing, and he wouldn't be satisfied until he did.

Sasuke sighed as another round of kids poured into the class. He was exhausted already and he'd only gone through one period! The day was already going horrible. He couldn't even teach one simple lesson when majority of the class was watching his body and not bothering to read or take the simple notes he'd put up and tried to explain on the board.

He growled, seeing a few girls already giving him 'the look'. Oh yeah, he knew 'the look', 'the look' was what girls (and sometimes guys) gave him when they wanted to be a little more 'up close and personal' with him.

It was annoying. To him 'the look', was the stupidest thing he'd ever seen, and wasn't attractive in the least.

A couple of girls frowned in disappointment, seeing the growing scowl on their sensei's beautiful face, other's found him to look even more desirable. He placed his elbows on the desk and closed his eyes, using his first two fingers of each hand to massage his pulsating temples. Why does his life have to suck?

To say Naruto was excited, wouldn't even fully explain the thrill that went through the blonde as he entered the classroom and quickly took a seat in the middle of the first row. His eyes were quickly drawn to the dark haired teacher and he felt the need to jump up and pin the man against the chalkboard and do whatever he wanted with him, but he didn't. He remained grinning like an idiot, trying to will down his growing erection.

His teacher finished rubbing his temples when he opened his eyes to look out at the class. The blonde couldn't help but shiver when those dark eyes focused on him. His grin grew and the teacher seemed to be frowning even more. Seconds later the exchange was over and the late bell rang throughout school.

Pale hands went to rest on the wood of the desk before pushing the host up onto his feet. He moved fluidly around to room; first to close the door, then to retrieve a piece of chalk from his desk and begin writing the lesson down on the board.

The lesson was of no importance to Naruto, what mattered most to him was how sexy looked in that silky, dark blue collared shirt, and how nice his ass fit in those slacks. He even loved the way his hair moved with each word the man spoke. And his voice! God! His voice was like an instrument made personally by God himself. A voice only fit for someone who looked so perfect, so sexy, so…just so…he didn't know the words to describe it.

"Uzumaki, are you paying attention," his heart began to ram against his chest at the sound of the name coming from the other's mouth.

Ah, did he mention the sexiness of the voice?

"Hm?" his shock finally faded enough for him to register things. People were starring at him now and a lot of the looks weren't very nice ones, most of them being from jealousy. He didn't care; this was the perfect chance to finally start his master plan!

"Please pay attention, Uzumaki," he said with a sigh and was about to turn back to the board when he was stopped by the blonde's voice.

"But it's boring," he stated so nonchalant that Sasuke really wanted to just punch the kid in the face.

"Excuse me?" he asked, turning to serve the other with a fierce glare.

"I said it's _boring_," he said again, making sure to say the last word extra slow so that he wouldn't be mistaken. The teacher began to visibly become irritated and he couldn't help but smirk. The other students in the class seemed shocked that the blonde would say such a thing, but also feared the teacher might snap and choke the idiot.

Sasuke fumed silently at the student, feeling highly insulted by the comment. Boring? He was not boring! He was everything but boring! No, this idiot was really pissing him off. Who the hell had the right to call him boring?

"Ah, I see, well do enlighten me, and the rest of the class how I could be 'not-so-boring'" _little shit. _He inquired, taking a seat at the edge of the desk.

Naruto shrugged, loving all the attention he was getting from his teacher, even if the intent was purely hostile. "I don't know, maybe if _we_ had a little _private_ time to chat I could better your skill_s _at _teaching_," he explained deviously, putting a lot of emphasis on certain words.

Sasuke cocked an eyebrow up in question knowing very well where this was heading and quickly cleared his throat. _This idiot couldn't possibly be serious._ He frowned"Pay attention next time, Uzumaki," he finally said, dropping the subject completely. He didn't have time to play along with this kid's sick version of seduction. It was arcane and he was not interested in indulging in such acts, the nerve of this guy.

Naruto frowned a bit when the other decided to rise and turn his back to the class, and more specifically, to him. Though the overcoming feeling of success didn't cease to filter up in his head.

Yes, he was happy. Very happy actually that he was able to drive so many things out of the young teacher. Ah, and how he wanted to drive so much more out of him.

He sighed and rested his head onto his palm, letting the rest of the period fade away with him observing every detail of his new target.

A head draped with long, silver locks popped up from the couch as the door to the small apartment opened, revealing a familiar face. "Hello roommate," he said, sitting up completely and watching as the raven threw his briefcase onto the floor and nearly ripped off his coat before placing it on the rack in between others. "Bad day again?" the other asked with a smirk only to gain a deadly glare n return. If looks could kill…

"Hn," he grunted, running his pale hand through his hair and disappearing into the kitchen.

"You don't want to talk about it?" he asked, knowing how annoying he was being to the other. It was fun.

"Shut up Suigetsu!" the other nearly barked before returned with a glass of wine. He needed to relax. He needed to forget that today ever happened and remember that he was home, and away from the center of annoyance in his life. He did not need to get a lawsuit for murdering his annoying roommate.

Reluctantly, he took a seat on one of the leather chairs and looked distantly at whatever his sickly pale roommate was watching. It was some stupid reality show, something he'd never been interested in, but continued to stare at in order to erase a certain face from his mind. It didn't work.

That idiot blonde… What was his name again? Uzumaki? He really hated that kid, and the fact that this bold little idiot was so blatant about his intentions was a bit more of a shock then he needed. _Better my skills at teaching, pff, what a moron. _He sighed, but at least the class hadn't caught on as well as he had. He already had enough to deal with when it came to those obsessive girls; to have to deal with any other problems would probably take all his energy away.

But he had to admit; the blonde didn't look half bad. Aside from his being annoying and taking things a little…too far, he was attractive.

He shook his head. Attractive or not, he was his teacher, and hell if he was going to do anything with that tan moron.

"Hmm, my roommate seems to be having trouble, but he won't tell me what's wrong," he blinked to see that Suigetsu had succeeded in getting within a few inches of his face and was observing him the entire time.

How the hell hadn't he seen the man move from one side of the room to the other? He glared at his 'friend' and placed one of his hands on the other's forehead to push his face a few more inches away from his. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?" he said with a frown. Why was he thinking so hard about that kid? This was just absurd.

"Well, well, well, if you would tell me what's bothering you, I wouldn't of said anything hm," he explained, earning another irritated look from his companion.

"You're annoying," he let out a frustrated groan and leaned back onto the chair, trying to relax, if only just a little.

"Anyway, you're brother called earlier," he said, changing the subject, and also perking the other's interest.

"What?" he asked in disbelief. His brother never called him. In fact, he hadn't seen or heard from his brother since he moved out of the mansion when he was sixteen and going to college. He had almost forgotten all about his family and now he decides to call him out of the blue. What could he possibly want?

"Yep, he left a message. If you want to go listen to it, I saved it for you. He sounded really serious like it was really important, but I don't know. He sounded a lot like you, you know, I thought you were the one who called when—," he stopped and looked around, seeing that the Uchiha had already risen in search for the phone. He sighed, guess it was time for more T.V.

A pale hand grabbed the phone shakily and pressed it up to his ear, eager to hear from his brother. It had been so long, he didn't know what he would say if the man called again. He swallowed and licked his dry lips, pressing the button to listen to his voice mail. There were a few messages. Two from a few college girls whose messages he chose to delete immediately. The next was from Sakura, a girl he couldn't really say he hated, but isn't as close of friends with her as she makes it seem. Put it this way, she didn't like him romantically; therefore she was worthy of his presence.

She was asking if he'd like to meet up tomorrow after work for something to eat. He would later call and cancel, something he did often whenever she asked him to hang out.

The next message was from his brother.

There was a long paused before the message actually began, and he greeted just as he always did when addressing Sasuke.

Otouto, our family requests you're presence at the next family get together. You've been absent to the last few, and didn't bother to call and tell us why.

This was true. His mother would often call him and ask him to attend their parties and come reunite with his family again, but he never did. He didn't want to be around his bastard of a father. Why should he? All the man ever did was criticize his choices in life and talk down on him as if he wasn't worthy of breathing the same air as the rest of the family.

He hated that man.

Please do come, we've been awaiting your visit for quite some time now. And also, I'd advise you to bring a guest, a companion I should say, to meet the family. Father plans to marry you off to one of his co-worker's daughters. That is, unless you're prefer this…

"Marry me off? Why?" he asked aloud, trying to register everything that was being said. What good would having him marry some woman be? It's not as though he was considered a worthy member of the family, so why is his father still trying to mold him into a little Itachi?

He could already feel the anger boiling up inside him.

I do look forward to seeing you again Otouto and also… I am looking forward to meeting this companion of yours. I do hope you take care. Until then…

There was a beep and the message was over. Bastard was probably smiling the entire time while sending that message.

There was another message.

Sasuke…this is Tsunade from the school board…

Shit.

I'd like to talk with you in my office this Saturday if you don't mind. Please call if there are any reasons you can't make it…I'll see you then.

He looked at the phone for a moment before placing it back onto the receiver.

What could the school board possibly want with him now? Hadn't he done all that was asked of him? They shouldn't be bothering him should they? He scratched his hair roughly, irritated with the situation.

And then there was what Itachi had said.

He didn't need to get married to some idiot, rich girl who he had no feelings toward. Why should he? He wouldn't, but simply saying that wouldn't do anything for him. He just has to find a suitable 'companion' to flaunt around this stupid party with. That's it. He would not succumb to his father and that is never going to change.

He had time to plan everything out, besides the next party that would be held at the Uchiha household would be the Christmas party in three months. His brother must've known he wasn't currently dating anyone or else he wouldn't have called him so early. He had to thank the bastard later, but for now he had to find a 'companion' to attend this party with.

But who…

The next few days of school with their new teacher were much like the first. The only thing different was the teacher's blatant attempts to ignore the blonde through any means necessary. This really got on Naruto's nerves. He'd thought that he could get a little more out of the sexy teacher, hear his name being called, something! But it was all to no avail. The man was just too good at dodging all his efforts for communication and it bothered him… a lot

"You okay Naruto?" Ino asked, sitting next to him at the lunch table. He sighed and gave her a depressing look. Really, she'd never seen the other look so down before. The blonde was acting really strange lately. His sudden interest in school, the change in wardrobe, and the mood swings, it was like a whole new Naruto. He didn't even flirt with anyone in the past…weeks!

No, I'm deprived of sex, my head hurts, It's Friday and the one guy I want to be with is a prick and I won't be able to see him until Monday! "I'm fine," he said flatly. All he wanted was a little fun with a certain raven bastard in a certain classroom, but nope, he was turned down. He hated this. He needed sex. He'd gone too long without it for someone who was refusing to even look at him.

She gave him a worried look as he put his head down and let out a breath of exhaustion. Oh how he wanted to change into some sweats and skip school and have sex with random guys like he'd previously enjoyed doing. He sometimes hated how stubborn he was. Now that he committed himself to one target, he couldn't allow himself to drift off the path of…well letting his teacher fuck him. It would hurt his twisted pride too much for him to take.

I guess it's time for plan b.

**I'm well aware that I should probably write the first chapter to my other story that I started like a fool, but I just can't think of anything. So, this story is like my side project that is supposed to help be accumulate ideas. Haha I'm sorry if it sucks. I'm trying, really. I kind of wish I wrote more or thought of more for this chapter, but I think this is good for now. I'll make longer chapters later…hopefully, I'm not promising anything. **

**Thank you for reading this story, and I hoped you actually did like it. I'm not sure about how I feel about it yet, but I think it'll come along. Please review. I want to know what you think, even if you don't like it.**

**Deidara**


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